Stop Trying to Argue Someone Into Being Your Match People spend too much time trying to argue themselves into compatibility. One person expects daily communication while the other does not need that much contact. Neither person is automatically wrong. But once you understand that difference, you have learned something important. Dating is partly about discovering
Sometimes It Is Not an Excuse—You Just Are Not Compatible Read More »
Why Do We Tell People Not to Hope? I have never completely understood why we tell people, “Don’t get your hopes up,” when something good might happen. I understand the reason behind it. We think lowering our expectations will make disappointment hurt less. But when I really want something, telling myself not to hope for
Go Ahead and Get Your Hopes Up Read More »
Words Reveal Patterns One thing I pay attention to when getting to know someone is how they talk about themselves and their life. That applies to romantic relationships, friendships, work, and spiritual connections. I notice when most conversations focus on what they cannot do, why nothing seems to work, or how everyone is against them.
Listen to How People Speak About Themselves Read More »
When Being Told What to Do Gets Under Your Skin If you dislike being told what to do, someone may have called you stubborn, rebellious, or difficult. Sometimes they may have a point. But some people simply place a high value on making their own decisions. They do not necessarily reject leadership, rules, or advice.
Maybe You’re Not Difficult—Maybe You Need to Know Why Read More »
Surviving Alone Is Not the Same as Living Alone When I said every man needs some form of brotherhood, some men disagreed. They argued that strong men handle life themselves and that trusting others only creates vulnerability. I understand the caution. Trust should be earned, and everybody calling you brother is not your brother. But
A Strong Man Can Stand Alone, but a Wise Man Knows He Shouldn’t Stay There Read More »
The Envelope Under the Seat Reggie found $12,000 under the seat of his best friend Dre’s truck. What he did not know was that Dre had deliberately put it there to test him. They had been friends for twenty years, and Reggie had stood beside Dre through difficult times. Now Reggie was the one struggling.
Don’t Test the Loyalty You’ve Already Been Given Read More »
A Strange Question With a Serious Point Suppose reality is a computer simulation and whoever created it has limited resources. What gets preserved, simplified, or shut down? Economist Robin Hanson explored questions like these in his 2001 essay How to Live in a Simulation. He was not claiming that we live inside a computer. He
If This Is a Simulation, Does Being Boring Get You Deleted? Read More »
Communication Is More Than Words Good communicators are not necessarily born with charisma. Much of what makes someone engaging comes from habits that can be learned. Your voice matters, your presentation matters, and the way people feel while talking with you matters. The goal is not to manipulate anyone. It is to communicate with enough
Three Small Changes That Can Make You a Better Communicator Read More »
Your Attention Is Not Neutral Whatever you consistently focus on begins to take up more space in your life. That does not mean your thoughts magically create reality. It means your attention influences what you notice, remember, and respond to. If you constantly look for betrayal, you will become better at finding reasons not to
What You Focus On Shapes the Life You Experience Read More »
The Impossible Request We often expect people to feel something just because we tell them to. We say things like, “Relax,” “Be confident,” “Smile,” “Say it like you mean it,” or “I want you to want to do it.” The problem is that behavior and emotion are not the same thing. Someone can smile, apologize,
You Cannot Order Someone to Feel Something Read More »