What Is the Purpose of a Relationship? Somebody once asked a question that sounds simple but gets deeper the longer I sit with it: what am I supposed to get out of being in a relationship? I understand why somebody would ask that, especially if relationships have brought more confusion than comfort. A healthy relationship
Love Is Not Supposed to Cost Me Myself Read More »
Everybody Does Not Need My Whole Story One lesson life has taught me is that everybody I meet does not automatically deserve access to my entire history. When I enter a new environment, I do not have to walk through the door carrying my résumé, accomplishments, disappointments, family business, and old wounds in my hands.
Learning to Move With Wisdom Without Losing Myself Read More »
The Silence After Love There is a quote that stayed with me: “There is nothing louder than the silence between two people who loved each other deeply but had to walk away.” I understand that kind of silence because it is not really empty at all. It can be filled with memories, unanswered questions, unfinished
When Love Is Real but Still Not Enough Read More »
The Need to Be Understood One of the hardest lessons I have had to learn is that everybody is not going to understand my heart. I can explain my intentions carefully, choose my words wisely, and still have somebody walk away believing something about me that simply is not true. That can be frustrating because
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Ambition Is Not the Problem I have learned that ambition by itself is not a bad thing. We need ambitious people because somebody has to dream bigger, reach farther, and imagine what has not been built yet. Ambition can push a person out of comfort and into growth. It can turn an ordinary employee into
When Ambition Outruns Ability Read More »
When a Compliment Is Not Really a Compliment I have learned that every compliment is not necessarily meant to make you feel good. Some compliments come wrapped in pretty paper, but once you open them, there is an insult sitting inside. We call those backhanded compliments because they sound positive at first while quietly taking
Five Backhanded Compliments You Should Watch Out For Read More »
The Assumptions We Make About Women Who Serve I have heard people make assumptions about women who served in the military, especially when the conversation turns to dating and relationships. Some men immediately wonder whether a woman who spent years around mostly men must have been sexually involved with a lot of them. That stereotype
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When Basic Care Feels Extraordinary One of the hardest lessons I have learned about dating is that the first person to treat you well is not necessarily the person meant to stay. Sometimes that person simply introduces you to what healthy treatment should have looked like all along. This becomes especially important when you have
The First Person to Treat You Right May Not Be Your Person Read More »
The Question That Would Not Leave Me Alone When did you stop loving me is the kind of question that can sit inside a person long after a relationship has changed. I kept wondering whether there had been one moment when your heart turned away or whether it happened little by little. Maybe there was
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When People Call It Luck I have heard people look at somebody’s life and say, “You’re so lucky,” as though everything good just fell out of the sky. They see the opportunity, but they do not always see the years that came before it. They see the open door without knowing how many closed doors
You Don’t Get Lucky, You Create It Read More »