Matching Energy Is Not Always Strength There is a phrase I hear often these days: “I’m just matching their energy.” Somebody becomes distant, so I become distant. They raise their voice, so I raise mine. They stop calling, so I stop calling. They become angry, and I make sure they understand that I can become
A Man Does Not Have to Match the Storm Read More »
“Sometimes You Just Have to Cuss People Out” I have heard people say, “Sometimes you just have to cuss somebody out because that’s the only way they’ll respect you.” I understand where that thinking comes from. There are people who test boundaries, mistake kindness for weakness, and continue pushing until somebody finally pushes back. In
I Don’t Have to Lose My Temper to Prove My Strength Read More »
Knowing What to Say Is Only Half the Work I have listened to people who clearly knew their subject and still had difficulty holding a room. Their information was accurate. Their presentation was organized. Their vocabulary was impressive. Yet after a few minutes, I could almost feel people’s attention drifting away. The speaker had something
Speak So People Listen: The Quiet Power of Cadence Read More »
The Difference Between Loneliness and Solitude There is a difference between being alone and feeling lonely, and I think understanding that difference becomes increasingly important as we move through life. Two people can spend an evening alone in nearly identical circumstances and experience that time completely differently. One person may feel peaceful, free, and comfortable.
Loneliness and Solitude: Being Alone Is Not the Same as Feeling Alone Read More »
The Mathematics of Friendship One of the more interesting studies I have encountered about friendship came from Jeffrey Hall, a researcher at the University of Kansas. He wanted to understand something most of us experience but rarely try to measure: how much time does it actually take for one person to become a friend? His
Friendship Takes Time: Why Showing Up Matters Read More »
Everybody Has Advice One thing I have learned over the years is that advice is everywhere. Family members, friends, coworkers, and even strangers often have opinions about how we should live. Now the internet has given millions more people a way to tell us what they think we should do. Most of them can sound
Consider the Source: Learning Whose Advice to Follow Read More »
When a Mother Sees Something Greater I came across an argument that Tupac Shakur and Jesus can be understood through a similar archetype, and at first that comparison sounded almost too heavy to touch. I am not saying Tupac was Jesus, divine, or some modern-day Messiah. I am talking about the recurring human story of
Tupac and Jesus: The Burden of the Chosen Son Read More »
When Access Changes Your Standards I remember having wealthy friends who would invite me into places I probably would not have entered on my own. These were the kind of rooms where everything felt elevated, from the service to the atmosphere to the way people moved through the space. The food was different, the attention
Some People Were Meant to Experience You, Not Keep You Read More »
More Than a Simple Love Song When I listen to Tupac’s “Dear Mama,” I hear more than a son simply telling his mother that he loves her. I hear gratitude, pain, memory, loyalty, disappointment, and forgiveness all moving through the same song. That is what makes it feel so much deeper than an ordinary tribute.
“Dear Mama” Was Love, Gratitude, Pain, and a Debt He Could Never Fully Repay Read More »
The Danger of Looking Away We have probably all heard somebody say, “That’s not my problem,” and sometimes I understand exactly why they say it. Life is already heavy, and nobody can carry every burden they see. But in a broken system, the greatest danger is not always the person causing the harm. Sometimes it
When “That’s Not My Problem” Becomes Everybody’s Problem Read More »