Women Usually Do Not Announce Attraction A woman is probably not going to walk across the room, look you straight in the eye, and announce that she has decided she wants you. Human attraction usually does not work that cleanly. People communicate interest through words, attention, tone, proximity, facial expressions, touch, and the way they
Attraction Is Usually a Pattern, Not One Secret Signal Read More »
Invalidation Changes the Conversation Invalidation is something that needs to be recognized when it shows up in a conversation. It happens when somebody dismisses, minimizes, mocks, or redirects what you are feeling instead of dealing with the issue you raised. You may be trying to explain that something hurt you, and suddenly the conversation becomes
When Someone Tries to Invalidate How You Feel Read More »
The Difference Matters One thing that confuses a lot of men is the difference between giving a woman a compliment and actually flirting with her. Those two things are not the same, and misunderstanding that can create a lot of mixed signals. A compliment is simply an expression of praise, admiration, or approval. You might
Complimenting and Flirting Are Not the Same Thing Read More »
The Problem With Putting Women on a Pedestal One of the biggest mistakes some men make is not that they think too little of women. It is that they think of women as something other than human. They put women on a pedestal. They imagine women are naturally more innocent, more moral, less sexual, less
Stop Idealizing Women and Start Seeing People Clearly Read More »
The First Lesson Was Too Simple One of the biggest things I was taught as a child was that if you are nice to people, they will be nice to you. I understand why adults teach that lesson. It encourages kindness, manners, cooperation, and basic decency. But life eventually teaches you something more complicated. Kindness
Kindness Without Boundaries Is Not Wisdom Read More »
The Question Sounds Different Today Before we go any further, somebody asks the woman, “Are you a gold digger?” That question used to carry a very specific image. People once imagined a gold digger as a woman chasing a man for his money, status, or lifestyle. Today, that idea is more complicated because many women
Who Is Really Digging for Gold? Read More »
Inconsistency Creates Confusion You know what may be worse than having no standards at all? Having standards that change depending on the day, the person, or your mood. One day something is unacceptable, and the next day you let the exact same thing slide. One employee misses a deadline and you address it immediately. Another
A Standard That Changes Is Not Really a Standard Read More »
We Call Ourselves Good Friends Too Easily Most people, if you ask them, will tell you they are good friends. I probably would have said the same thing without giving it much thought. But if you peel the onion back just a little, the answer gets more complicated. Being friendly is not the same thing
Most of Us Are Not as Good at Friendship as We Think Read More »
Do Not Start With the Accusation When somebody seems jealous and begins putting you down in conversations, the easiest response is to say, “You are jealous of me.” I understand the temptation because sometimes jealousy really may be involved. But that sentence usually ends the conversation before it begins. Very few people are going to
When Jealousy Starts Damaging a Relationship Read More »
Believe the Information You Are Being Given When a man says he is not ready to commit, I think the safest thing a woman can do is believe him. Do not punish him, diagnose him, or spend months trying to prove that you are patient, loving, or understanding enough to change his mind. Sometimes people
When He Says He Is Not Ready to Commit Read More »