Life Lessons

When Basic Care Feels Extraordinary One of the hardest lessons I have learned about dating is that the first person to treat you well is not necessarily the person meant to stay. Sometimes that person simply introduces you to what healthy treatment should have looked like all along. This becomes especially important when you have

The Question That Would Not Leave Me Alone When did you stop loving me is the kind of question that can sit inside a person long after a relationship has changed. I kept wondering whether there had been one moment when your heart turned away or whether it happened little by little. Maybe there was

When People Call It Luck I have heard people look at somebody’s life and say, “You’re so lucky,” as though everything good just fell out of the sky. They see the opportunity, but they do not always see the years that came before it. They see the open door without knowing how many closed doors

What We Are Really Fighting About I have lived long enough to understand that most arguments are not really about what started them. Two people can fuss about dirty dishes, laundry on the floor, coming home late, or spending too much time on the phone. But beneath those everyday arguments, there may be deeper problems

What Alignment Means to Me The older I get, the more I understand that love by itself does not guarantee a healthy relationship. Two people can deeply love each other and still not be a good match for one another. What makes the difference is alignment, because alignment determines whether two lives can actually move

Quiet Should Never Be Confused With Weakness I heard a saying that stopped me for a minute: “Just because I’m laid-back doesn’t mean I won’t lean forward.” There is a whole lot of wisdom packed inside those few words. Some people have a habit of mistaking a calm personality for weakness. They see somebody who

When Interest Starts Feeling Like a Test I have learned that dating can become confusing when one person is interested while the other person is still trying to decide what they feel. Sometimes a woman may pull back, communicate less, or create some distance while she sorts through her emotions. A man on the receiving

Learning the Difference Between Approval and Purpose The older I get, the less I care about measuring my life by how many people agree with me or applaud what I have to say. There was probably a time when approval carried more weight because most of us enjoy knowing that people appreciate what we are

Learning When Somebody Does Not Want to Rock With You The older I get, the more I understand that one of life’s hardest lessons is knowing when to stop chasing somebody who does not want to be caught. When a woman shows a man that she is not interested, sometimes his pride tells him to