Acting Like the Person You Want to Become: The Power of Intentional Action Over “Fake It Till You Make It”

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Introduction

The concept of “acting like the person you want to become” isn’t about pretending or faking until you make it. Instead, it’s a purposeful, intentional practice of aligning your actions with your aspirations, allowing your brain to recalibrate its understanding of who you are. This idea goes beyond simple motivation; it’s about creating real, lasting change by reshaping your self-image and embedding new habits that reflect the person you want to be.


1. The Power of Intentional Action

  • Intentionality vs. “Faking It”:
    Unlike the often-quoted advice to “fake it till you make it,” which implies pretending to be something you’re not, acting intentionally involves genuinely embodying the traits, behaviors, and actions of the person you want to become. This practice is grounded in self-awareness and authenticity. You don’t have to deceive yourself or others. Rather, you focus on the small, deliberate actions that align with your desired identity.
  • Why It Works:
    When you act like the person you want to become, your brain starts to rewire itself. It sees your actions, connects them to your self-image, and begins to update its perception of you. Over time, this reinforces the new identity you’re creating. Your brain begins to recognize you as someone worthy of your goals, and as a result, it shifts from self-doubt to self-assurance.

2. Shifting Your Brain’s Relationship With You

  • Self-Perception and Action:
    Our brains are constantly processing our behavior and forming beliefs based on what we do. If you want to become a more confident person, for example, the brain notices if you act confidently. This may include things like standing tall, speaking with clarity, and taking on challenges. Each of these small actions sends a signal to your brain that this is who you are becoming.
    • The Mirror Example:
      The simple act of high-fiving yourself in the mirror might seem small or trivial, but it’s a powerful tool for self-validation. This gesture represents self-appreciation and positive reinforcement. Over time, these intentional acts help your brain see you as someone who values and cares for themselves, reinforcing a positive self-relationship.
  • Creating a New Self-Image:
    The more you intentionally act in alignment with the person you want to become, the more your brain will see these actions as “normal” for you. This leads to a change in self-perception, where your behaviors are no longer seen as out of reach or impossible. The gap between your current self and desired self narrows, and you begin to naturally embody those qualities.

3. Aligning Your Actions with Your Goals

  • The Misalignment of Goals and Actions:
    It’s not enough to simply want something. Your actions need to reflect the goal you’re pursuing. For example, if you want to be healthier, but your actions contradict that (like eating junk food regularly or skipping workouts), your brain sees the misalignment and may unconsciously sabotage your efforts. It’s important to align what you do with what you say you want.
    • Critical Mass and Black Holes:
      Just like a black hole pulls in matter from its surroundings, negative behaviors or habits can draw energy away from your goals. These “black holes” are the gaps in your life where your potential for growth gets absorbed, whether it’s procrastination, distractions, or self-sabotage. By identifying and mitigating these negative patterns, you create space for the actions that align with your vision to flourish.
  • Absorbing and Redirecting Energy:
    The key to overcoming these “black holes” is to redirect energy into actions that support your goals. This means recognizing and eliminating the things that deplete your potential and replacing them with purposeful actions that move you closer to your desired identity. If you constantly find yourself wasting time, for example, shifting that energy toward productivity or personal growth can have a profound impact on your progress.

4. Frameworks for Success: What to Avoid

  • Avoiding Negative Influences:
    We often focus on what we need to do to achieve our goals but fail to consider what we need to stop doing. Negative behaviors, limiting beliefs, and distractions can be just as powerful as positive actions in shaping your reality.
    • Breaking Bad Habits:
      If you want to be more productive, for instance, you must actively avoid distractions like excessive social media or procrastination. If you want to improve your health, avoid mindlessly indulging in unhealthy eating habits. Acknowledging what to avoid allows you to clear the path for the actions that will help you succeed.
  • The Power of Saying No:
    Part of acting like the person you want to become is knowing where to direct your energy. Sometimes this means saying no to things that don’t align with your goals or values. This can involve setting boundaries with others or being more mindful of where your time and energy go. By protecting your focus, you reinforce your commitment to your desired self.

5. The Continuous Cycle of Growth

  • Building Consistency:
    Acting intentionally is not a one-time effort but a daily practice. The more consistent you are, the more your brain will reinforce these new behaviors. Eventually, the person you aspire to become is no longer someone you’re striving to be—it’s who you are.
    • Tracking Progress:
      One way to stay on track is to monitor your progress. Whether through journaling, reflecting on your actions, or using visual reminders of your goals, tracking helps you stay conscious of your alignment. This also allows you to adjust when you notice actions slipping out of alignment with your desired self.
  • Patience and Persistence:
    Change doesn’t happen overnight. It requires patience and persistence to allow the process of transformation to unfold. Trust that small, intentional actions will accumulate over time and lead to lasting results. Your brain is working behind the scenes, rewiring itself to match your new identity.

6. Conclusion

Acting like the person you want to become is a powerful strategy for creating lasting change. It’s not about pretending or forcing yourself into a mold that doesn’t fit, but rather aligning your actions with your true goals and desires. By intentionally embodying the behaviors, mindset, and actions of your future self, you send clear signals to your brain that this is who you are becoming. Over time, your brain rewires itself to support this new identity, making it easier to sustain the changes you seek. Embrace the journey of transformation by acting as the person you want to be—because your actions are the blueprint for your future self.

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