Breakdown:

Many people misunderstand the core issue of addiction, thinking it’s primarily about drugs or alcohol. But the reality is much deeper. Addiction, whether it’s to substances, behaviors, or even relationships, isn’t about the drug itself—it’s about what the person is trying to escape or numb within themselves.

1. Addiction Isn’t Just About Substances

• While drugs and alcohol are the most common associations, addiction can also be to behaviors, people, or relationships. It’s not limited to substances. What these various addictions have in common is the person’s attempt to numb or distract themselves from deeper, internal discomfort.

2. Drugs Are Not the Problem—They Are the Solution

• Here’s the hard truth: the drug isn’t the real problem—it’s the solution the person has found. Of course, it’s a solution that destroys lives, but it works as a temporary fix for a much bigger issue.
• The drug or alcohol serves to numb the individual, to distract them from the deeper pain or discomfort they’re feeling. The real problem isn’t the substance itself but the underlying condition that causes the person to reach for that numbing agent in the first place.

3. The Underlying Issue: Discomfort with Self

• At the core of addiction is a profound discomfort with one’s own self. It’s the feeling of being uncomfortable in your own skin, of feeling “terminally unique”—different, lonely, isolated even when surrounded by others.
• This internal discomfort drives people to use substances or engage in addictive behaviors to escape the pain of their own emotions and thoughts. Addiction provides temporary relief from feelings of not fitting in, of wanting to be a part of something but constantly feeling apart from everything.

4. Self-Numbing to Escape

• The drug, alcohol, or behavior is a way to escape that gnawing sense of discomfort and isolation. It’s not about chasing a high, but about avoiding the deep-seated pain that comes from not feeling whole, not feeling connected to oneself or others.

5. Misunderstanding Addiction

• People often misunderstand addiction because they focus solely on the substance or behavior. They think it’s about drugs or alcohol, but addiction is rooted in emotional and psychological pain.
• This is why conversations about addiction often miss the mark—because they don’t address the underlying cause: the person’s relationship with themselves, their discomfort, and their need to numb the pain of existence.

Conclusion:
Addiction is not about drugs or alcohol; it’s about the underlying pain and discomfort a person feels within themselves. The substances or behaviors used in addiction are not the problem—they are the temporary solution the individual has found to numb that pain. To truly understand addiction, we must look beyond the drugs and address the deeper emotional issues at its core. It’s about healing the discomfort with one’s own self and finding healthier ways to cope with that pain.