Breakdown:

Marriage, as a societal institution, is seen by many as a cornerstone of a fulfilling life. However, the data surrounding marriage success is strikingly grim. With divorce rates hovering around 56% and countless other couples staying together in unhappy marriages for financial, religious, or personal reasons, marriage has become an endeavor with an alarmingly high failure rate. In fact, if we compare it to other risky activities like skydiving, the statistics show that marriage is far more “dangerous” in terms of emotional and psychological harm than the rare chance of physical harm from skydiving.

1. Marriage Has a High Failure Rate

• The facts: Divorce rates show that more than half of marriages end in failure, and that statistic doesn’t account for the couples who remain in unhappy unions. These marriages might stay intact due to external pressures—whether religious, financial, or societal—but the personal toll is significant. The concept of “staying together for the kids” or to maintain material wealth often results in a life of discontent, stifled potential, and emotional suffering.
• Comparison to skydiving: The risk of death from skydiving is minimal compared to the emotional toll and life dissatisfaction that can come from an unhappy marriage. In skydiving, there’s a very small chance of harm (0.0001% fatality rate), whereas the risk of emotional, financial, or psychological damage from marriage is significantly higher.

2. Marriage Can Lead to Emotional and Psychological “Death”

• Not just physical death, but emotional death: While marriage doesn’t physically end lives, it can lead to the “death” of a person’s sense of self. People often find that they lose their individuality, passions, and dreams when stuck in an unhappy marriage. This kind of existential “death” is more about the erosion of a person’s identity and joy, leaving them to live a life that is disconnected from who they really are.
• The cost of not living authentically: Many people stay in marriages because they feel it’s what they should do, whether it’s due to societal norms, religious obligations, or fear of losing financial stability. However, this results in people living lives that aren’t true to their authentic selves, leading to long-term unhappiness and unfulfillment.

3. Why Don’t We Ask “Why” More Often?

• The marriage question taboo: In society, when someone announces they’re getting married, the typical response is enthusiastic support: “Oh my God, that’s amazing!” But if someone asks “why?”—as in, “why are you getting married?”—it’s often seen as rude or inappropriate. This taboo around questioning marriage leads to many people jumping into lifelong commitments without fully understanding their own motivations or whether marriage is the right decision for them.
• Why is marriage the default?: People rarely ask why marriage is necessary or question whether it’s the best fit for their personal situation. Instead, it’s often treated as an inevitable milestone in life. But why not ask if it aligns with who you are, your goals, and the life you want to live? If marriage is such a high-risk commitment, we should encourage people to think critically about why they are choosing it.

4. Many Answers Don’t Hold Up to Scrutiny

• The unsatisfying answers: When asked “why” someone wants to get married, many responses fall into vague or superficial reasons: “It’s the next step,” “We’ve been together for so long,” or “It’s what people do.” These answers don’t really delve into the true complexities of a lifelong commitment. Often, people haven’t fully considered the emotional, financial, and personal stakes involved, or the high risk of marriage leading to dissatisfaction or divorce.
• Blind optimism: Many people approach marriage with a sense of optimism, believing that their love or relationship will be the exception to the statistics. However, without a clear understanding of why they are choosing marriage and how they will sustain happiness over time, they are often setting themselves up for the same failures seen by others.

5. The Importance of Thoughtful Decision-Making

• Marriage as a choice, not a default: The point isn’t to say that marriage is a bad idea for everyone, but rather that it shouldn’t be entered into lightly or without deep reflection. Marriage is a personal decision that can have a profound impact on your life. It’s essential to critically evaluate whether it aligns with your values, goals, and long-term happiness.
• Encouraging self-reflection: Instead of following societal expectations, people should take the time to ask themselves deep questions about why they are choosing marriage. Are they doing it out of love and shared goals, or out of pressure? Are they prepared to navigate the inevitable challenges? Do they fully understand the risks, both emotional and financial?

Conclusion:

Marriage, while often celebrated as a natural life progression, has an overwhelmingly high failure rate and poses significant emotional and psychological risks. Unlike skydiving, which carries a minuscule chance of physical harm, marriage can lead to long-term unhappiness, loss of self, and unfulfilled lives. The cultural reluctance to ask “why” when someone chooses marriage perpetuates the cycle of people entering into lifelong commitments without fully considering whether it’s right for them. Encouraging critical reflection and asking thoughtful questions before making such a significant commitment could help reduce the high rate of marital dissatisfaction and divorce.