The primary point of the passage is that men often misunderstand how to attract women, influenced by cultural programming from movies and media. The common mistake is believing that proving their love and devotion will win a woman’s heart. However, women fall in love based on attraction, not how much they are loved or cared for.

There are two pathways to attraction: excitement and respect/admiration. Excitement involves surface-level attributes like appearance, charisma, and communication skills. While important, these are not sufficient alone for a lasting relationship. Respect and admiration are crucial and are best achieved by being on a personal mission or having a strong sense of purpose.

The example given is of a high school football coach who, despite not fitting conventional standards of physical attractiveness, commanded respect and admiration through his dedication to helping young men and his strong sense of purpose. This made him attractive to his beautiful and devoted wife.

Ultimately, the advice is to focus on self-fulfillment and purpose rather than simply trying to prove one’s love or conform to surface-level expectations. This deeper sense of mission and fulfillment is what leads to genuine respect, admiration, and lasting attraction.

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