Breakdown:

1. Understanding Self-Sabotage
   Every instance of self-sabotage — whether it’s procrastination, relapsing into bad habits, avoiding people or responsibilities, fearing success or failure — all comes down to one fundamental mistake: following your feelings. Each time you let your emotions dictate your actions, you unintentionally sabotage yourself.
2. Following Feelings vs. Following Goals
   The root cause of self-sabotage is allowing your emotions to guide you. From childhood, especially if shaped by complex trauma, you may have relied on your feelings for survival, leading to an ingrained habit of “follow your feelings” or “be afraid.” While this was necessary during traumatic times, it no longer serves you in adulthood and prevents you from thriving.
3. Your Responsibility to Change
   Although you didn’t choose the way your brain was wired through trauma, it’s your responsibility to change it. The good news is that, thanks to neuroplasticity, you can rewire your brain and transform your habits. This means you can shift from being feelings-driven to becoming success-driven and goal-oriented.
4. Step 1: Set Goals
   To stop sabotaging yourself, the first step is to set clear goals. It doesn’t matter what they are, as long as they benefit you and others. The important thing is that you have something meaningful to aim for.
5. Step 2: Align Decisions with Goals
   Every time you face a decision, big or small, ask yourself: Which of my options best aligns with my goals? This process of conscious choice-making turns you into a success-driven person, as you start focusing on what will help you succeed rather than what feels comfortable in the moment.
6. Step 3: Choose Goal-Oriented Actions
   After evaluating your options, always choose the one that aligns most with your goals, and then follow through. Even if you feel sad, anxious, lazy, or fearful, you must take action based on your goals rather than your emotions.
7. Consistency and Repetition
   The key to creating lasting change is repetition. Every time you consciously align your decisions with your goals, you strengthen a new neural pathway in your brain. As this new pathway forms, the old feelings-driven habits will weaken and eventually fade, transforming your thought patterns and behaviors.
8. The Power of Neuroplasticity
   Neuroplasticity allows you to reshape your brain through repetition and new choices. By consistently choosing goal-oriented actions over emotional reactions, you will rewire your brain to naturally follow a path of success, ultimately reshaping your personality and approach to life.
9. Conclusion: The Healing Process
   By following this process of setting goals, aligning decisions, and taking action despite your feelings, you will heal from the habits of self-sabotage. Over time, your brain will rewire itself, and you will become a more purposeful, success-driven person, free from the cycles of self-destruction.

In summary, to stop sabotaging yourself, shift from following your emotions to following your goals. Consistent goal-oriented actions will rewire your brain and help you create a new, healthier way of thinking and acting.