Matching Energy Is Not Always Strength I have noticed that some of us believe the only way to deal with a difficult person is to become difficult ourselves. Somebody raises their voice, so we raise ours. Somebody gets disrespectful, and we decide they need to see that we can be disrespectful too. Somebody brings hostility
When Somebody Else’s Bad Behavior Starts Controlling Mine Read More »
The Man Who Becomes Easy to Overlook I have learned that the easiest man to take for granted can sometimes become the hardest man to replace. It happens because consistency has a way of making something valuable begin to look ordinary. A good man calls when he says he will call, shows up when he
When a Good Man Makes Love Look Ordinary Read More »
A Lesson I Had to Grow Into One thing my granddaddy told me did not make much sense when I was younger, but age gave it a different meaning. He said, “Stop crying over money you already lost.” At first, that sounded too easy because losing money can make you feel angry, embarrassed, and disrespected
Sometimes the Money Was Tuition Read More »
The Name We Learned For most of my life, the name Jesus sounded so natural that I never had much reason to question where it came from. I heard it in church, read it in the Bible, heard it in prayers, and watched people call on that name when life got hard. But Jesus of
How Yeshua Became Jesus Read More »
Looking at American History From Another Angle One of the most revealing ways I have learned to study American history is to examine what happened whenever the country considered creating something for the public good. I look at health care, Social Security, public education, housing, parks, swimming pools, and other institutions that were supposed to
When the Public Good Had to Include Everybody Read More »
What Boys Learn Before They Understand the Lesson When I look back at the way many boys were raised, I realize emotional training started long before we knew we were being trained. A little boy falls down, starts crying, and somebody tells him to get up because boys are supposed to be tough. He reaches
Becoming a Whole Man: Learning the Emotional Language I Was Never Taught Read More »
A Question I Cannot Treat Lightly I have heard the argument that a religion teaching people to love their enemies must be dangerous because oppressed people sometimes need to resist those harming them. I understand why that argument can strike a nerve, especially when Christianity is placed beside the history of slavery. Black people have
When Faith, Slavery, and Freedom Collide Read More »
The Value of Stepping Away I have come to appreciate the idea that sometimes the most productive thing a person can do is stop working for a moment and think. That sounds almost backwards in a culture that rewards movement, speed, and constant availability. We are taught to answer the email, return the call, finish
Sometimes the Most Productive Thing We Can Do Is Stop and Think Read More »
The Cost We Rarely See I once heard somebody ask, “What is the most expensive thing poor people buy?” Most of us might immediately think about expensive clothes, cars, jewelry, vacations, or other things people sometimes purchase when they really cannot afford them. But I believe there is something poverty can make far more expensive
The Most Expensive Thing Poverty Buys Is Urgency Read More »
The Part of My Story You Never Heard Sometimes people decide I became the villain because they only saw the part where I walked away. They saw the distance, the silence, the boundaries, and the version of me that stopped showing up the way I used to. What they did not hear were the conversations
If I Became the Villain in Your Story, So Be It Read More »