The Question That Stops Me Cold When I hear somebody ask whether slavery was necessary, my answer is no. Absolutely not. I understand how somebody can look at their life today and recognize that their ancestors surviving slavery eventually placed later generations in the United States. A descendant may feel grateful for the life, citizenship,
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Twenty Years of Manifestation in Plain Language I have listened to enough conversations about manifestation to understand why the idea attracts so many people. At its simplest, manifestation says that what we repeatedly think about can influence how we approach our lives. Some teachers call it the Law of Attraction, while others connect it to
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Looking at Grass Differently I never thought much about a front lawn beyond whether it needed cutting, watering, or cleaning up around the edges. Grass seemed neutral to me, just another part of the American house. Once I started looking at the history of the lawn, I realized there was more beneath that green surface
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When a Compliment Is Not Really a Compliment I have learned that every compliment is not necessarily meant to make you feel good. Some compliments come wrapped in pretty paper, but once you open them, there is an insult sitting inside. We call those backhanded compliments because they sound positive at first while quietly taking
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Something Has Changed in Military Recruiting As a Black man who served in the military, I pay attention when the conversation turns to who America recruits to defend this country. Military recruiting has always been about more than putting somebody in a uniform. It touches economics, education, opportunity, patriotism, family tradition, and sometimes the simple
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Two Battles at the Same Time In 1942, Black Americans were being asked to help fight a war for democracy overseas while still living under segregation here at home. Black men could be drafted into the armed forces and sent to fight Nazi Germany while being denied basic dignity in their own country. They could
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The Question Behind the Music I am going to start by saying that, strictly as an R&B artist and songwriter, R. Kelly built one of the most successful catalogs of his generation. His music dominated radio, clubs, weddings, slow jams, and R&B playlists for years. Songs like “Bump N’ Grind,” “Down Low,” “I Can’t Sleep,”
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The Assumptions We Make About Women Who Serve I have heard people make assumptions about women who served in the military, especially when the conversation turns to dating and relationships. Some men immediately wonder whether a woman who spent years around mostly men must have been sexually involved with a lot of them. That stereotype
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When Basic Care Feels Extraordinary One of the hardest lessons I have learned about dating is that the first person to treat you well is not necessarily the person meant to stay. Sometimes that person simply introduces you to what healthy treatment should have looked like all along. This becomes especially important when you have
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The Question That Would Not Leave Me Alone When did you stop loving me is the kind of question that can sit inside a person long after a relationship has changed. I kept wondering whether there had been one moment when your heart turned away or whether it happened little by little. Maybe there was
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