The Problem With Putting Women on a Pedestal One of the biggest mistakes some men make is not that they think too little of women. It is that they think of women as something other than human. They put women on a pedestal. They imagine women are naturally more innocent, more moral, less sexual, less
Stop Idealizing Women and Start Seeing People Clearly Read More »
The First Lesson Was Too Simple One of the biggest things I was taught as a child was that if you are nice to people, they will be nice to you. I understand why adults teach that lesson. It encourages kindness, manners, cooperation, and basic decency. But life eventually teaches you something more complicated. Kindness
Kindness Without Boundaries Is Not Wisdom Read More »
The Question Sounds Different Today Before we go any further, somebody asks the woman, “Are you a gold digger?” That question used to carry a very specific image. People once imagined a gold digger as a woman chasing a man for his money, status, or lifestyle. Today, that idea is more complicated because many women
Who Is Really Digging for Gold? Read More »
Inconsistency Creates Confusion You know what may be worse than having no standards at all? Having standards that change depending on the day, the person, or your mood. One day something is unacceptable, and the next day you let the exact same thing slide. One employee misses a deadline and you address it immediately. Another
A Standard That Changes Is Not Really a Standard Read More »
We Call Ourselves Good Friends Too Easily Most people, if you ask them, will tell you they are good friends. I probably would have said the same thing without giving it much thought. But if you peel the onion back just a little, the answer gets more complicated. Being friendly is not the same thing
Most of Us Are Not as Good at Friendship as We Think Read More »
Do Not Start With the Accusation When somebody seems jealous and begins putting you down in conversations, the easiest response is to say, “You are jealous of me.” I understand the temptation because sometimes jealousy really may be involved. But that sentence usually ends the conversation before it begins. Very few people are going to
When Jealousy Starts Damaging a Relationship Read More »
Believe the Information You Are Being Given When a man says he is not ready to commit, I think the safest thing a woman can do is believe him. Do not punish him, diagnose him, or spend months trying to prove that you are patient, loving, or understanding enough to change his mind. Sometimes people
When He Says He Is Not Ready to Commit Read More »
I Can Understand Both Sides This is one of those relationship conversations where I can understand both people even when their feelings seem to contradict each other. I understand why a man might want a paternity test. A woman experiences pregnancy in a way a man never can because she knows biologically that the child
A Paternity Test May Give You Certainty, But What Does It Say About Trust? Read More »
Showing Up as Your Real Self One of the hardest things to do in any relationship is show up as your real self. Many of us want intimacy, but we also want protection from disappointment, rejection, conflict, and pain. So we begin editing ourselves. We hold back what we really feel. We soften truths that
Love Without Losing Yourself Read More »
Some People Never Change the Temperature I have always been fascinated by people who can talk to anybody. They can have a real conversation with the Uber driver, the woman behind the counter, or the man fixing the elevator. They can speak just as comfortably with the CEO sitting across from them at dinner. Somehow
The People Who Can Talk to Anybody Read More »