The Argument Is Not Always the Real Argument The older I get, the more I realize that people are not always arguing about what they claim they are arguing about. The disagreement may start over politics, dirty dishes, money, somebody leaving the milk out, or something said on the evening news. Before long, two people
Don’t Take the Bait: Listen for What’s Underneath the Argument Read More »
The Love Hidden in Consideration The older I get, the more I believe one of the highest forms of love is consideration. Sacrifice might rank a little higher, but that is a conversation for another day. I am talking about those small moments when somebody shows you that you crossed their mind without asking for
You Thought About Me Read More »
What Rubs Off on Us There is an old saying that if you sit in a fish market long enough, sooner or later you are going to smell like fish. Sit in a perfume shop, and chances are some of that sweet fragrance will follow you out the door. I have come to understand that
The Company We Keep Leaves a Scent Read More »
When God Keeps Saying Wait There have been seasons in my life when I felt ready for something, yet nothing seemed to move. I prayed for the opportunity, believed I was prepared, and wondered why the answer kept looking like “wait.” That waiting can wear on you because eventually you start wondering whether God heard
Sometimes the Waiting Is Preparing Us Read More »
Every Piece of Writing Has a Reason One thing I have learned about writing is that nobody truly writes into an empty space for no reason at all. Something usually happened before the first sentence appeared on the page. Somebody made a claim, asked a question, created a problem, challenged an idea, or left something
What Was the Reason? Teaching Writing Through Exigence Read More »
The Feelings We Learn to Hide Throughout my life, I have learned that feelings do not always arrive when it is convenient for me to deal with them. Pain can show up when I have responsibilities waiting, anger can rise when I need to remain composed, and grief can appear when everybody expects me to
When We Stop Running From What We Feel Read More »
Matching Energy Is Not Always Strength I have noticed that some of us believe the only way to deal with a difficult person is to become difficult ourselves. Somebody raises their voice, so we raise ours. Somebody gets disrespectful, and we decide they need to see that we can be disrespectful too. Somebody brings hostility
When Somebody Else’s Bad Behavior Starts Controlling Mine Read More »
The Man Who Becomes Easy to Overlook I have learned that the easiest man to take for granted can sometimes become the hardest man to replace. It happens because consistency has a way of making something valuable begin to look ordinary. A good man calls when he says he will call, shows up when he
When a Good Man Makes Love Look Ordinary Read More »
A Lesson I Had to Grow Into One thing my granddaddy told me did not make much sense when I was younger, but age gave it a different meaning. He said, “Stop crying over money you already lost.” At first, that sounded too easy because losing money can make you feel angry, embarrassed, and disrespected
Sometimes the Money Was Tuition Read More »
What Boys Learn Before They Understand the Lesson When I look back at the way many boys were raised, I realize emotional training started long before we knew we were being trained. A little boy falls down, starts crying, and somebody tells him to get up because boys are supposed to be tough. He reaches
Becoming a Whole Man: Learning the Emotional Language I Was Never Taught Read More »