Life Lessons

The Change Usually Happens Slowly For many older men, becoming more selective about relationships does not happen because of one breakup or one painful experience. It usually happens gradually, year after year, as life teaches lessons that younger men often cannot fully understand yet. Over time, men begin noticing patterns in what brings peace and

Women Usually Do Not Announce Attraction A woman is probably not going to walk across the room, look you straight in the eye, and announce that she has decided she wants you. Human attraction usually does not work that cleanly. People communicate interest through words, attention, tone, proximity, facial expressions, touch, and the way they

The Difference Matters One thing that confuses a lot of men is the difference between giving a woman a compliment and actually flirting with her. Those two things are not the same, and misunderstanding that can create a lot of mixed signals. A compliment is simply an expression of praise, admiration, or approval. You might

Inconsistency Creates Confusion You know what may be worse than having no standards at all? Having standards that change depending on the day, the person, or your mood. One day something is unacceptable, and the next day you let the exact same thing slide. One employee misses a deadline and you address it immediately. Another

We Call Ourselves Good Friends Too Easily Most people, if you ask them, will tell you they are good friends. I probably would have said the same thing without giving it much thought. But if you peel the onion back just a little, the answer gets more complicated. Being friendly is not the same thing

Do Not Start With the Accusation When somebody seems jealous and begins putting you down in conversations, the easiest response is to say, “You are jealous of me.” I understand the temptation because sometimes jealousy really may be involved. But that sentence usually ends the conversation before it begins. Very few people are going to

I Can Understand Both Sides This is one of those relationship conversations where I can understand both people even when their feelings seem to contradict each other. I understand why a man might want a paternity test. A woman experiences pregnancy in a way a man never can because she knows biologically that the child

Showing Up as Your Real Self One of the hardest things to do in any relationship is show up as your real self. Many of us want intimacy, but we also want protection from disappointment, rejection, conflict, and pain. So we begin editing ourselves. We hold back what we really feel. We soften truths that