Breakdown:

Allow me to be both honoring and truthful—this might hit close to home. Many of the struggles we face aren’t the result of someone else doing us wrong; they are self-inflicted. Most of the people I coach through conflict aren’t victims of their circumstances—they’re volunteers. Now, I know that may sting, but stay with me.

1. Recognize the Pattern

• The hard truth is that many of us keep finding ourselves in the same situations because we keep making the same poor choices. We surround ourselves with the same people, react to stress in the same ways, and repeat the same unhealthy patterns. This isn’t about blaming you—it’s about helping you recognize what’s going on so you can grow.

2. You’re Creating the Patterns

• The patterns you’re experiencing—whether in relationships, work, or how you handle challenges—are patterns you’ve created. And the good news is that if you created them, you have the power to break them. It’s not about feeling guilty for where you are; it’s about seeing the opportunity to make a change.

3. Shift Your Focus

• Instead of asking, “Why does this keep happening to me?” ask yourself, “What can I change about me so this doesn’t keep happening?” Growth starts with realizing that while you can’t control every situation, you can control how you show up in those situations. That’s where your power lies.

4. Take Ownership

• Here’s the bottom line: it’s time to get your life together. You can keep repeating the same behaviors—being foolish, selfish, and childish—or you can start taking ownership, moving toward being distinguished and accomplished. The key is recognizing that you can’t blame others for hardship that you’ve contributed to through your own choices.

Conclusion:
Growth requires accountability. It requires you to face the truth that some of the hardships you experience are self-inflicted. But this isn’t about feeling guilty—it’s about embracing the fact that you have the power to break those patterns. So, step up, take ownership, and create a life that reflects the best version of yourself. It’s not about blame; it’s about becoming better.