Breakdown:
- The Nature of Offense: It’s perfectly normal to feel offended by something that was intended to be offensive. People are generally aware of when they are being rude or disrespectful, even if they later claim it wasn’t their intent.
- Deflecting Responsibility: When someone says, “I’m sorry you were offended” or “I’m sorry you feel that way,” they are deflecting responsibility from their actions and placing it on your feelings. This is not a genuine apology, as it avoids addressing the behavior that caused the offense.
- Validating Your Feelings: Your feelings, especially when they are valid, should not be dismissed or minimized. It’s essential to hold the other person accountable for their actions, not your emotional response.
- Requesting a Proper Apology: If someone tries to apologize by focusing on your feelings instead of their own behavior, it’s important to redirect the conversation. A better approach is to ask for an apology based on what they did, rather than how their actions made you feel.
- Taking Ownership of Actions: A genuine apology requires acknowledging the wrongdoing and taking responsibility for it. Encourage others to apologize for their behavior, ensuring that they understand the impact of their actions and how they can improve in the future.