Introduction: The Two Paths of Communication
Every time we engage in conversation, we stand at a crossroads: Do we aim to make a point, or do we strive to make a way?
- Making a Point: Focuses on proving who is right, often prioritizing logic, facts, and personal certainty over empathy and understanding.
- Making a Way: Focuses on doing what is right, fostering connection, collaboration, and solutions rather than division.
Understanding the difference between these two approaches determines whether we build walls or bridges, whether we win arguments or win people.
1. The Problem with Just Making a Point
When we focus on making a point, we may:
✔ Prioritize Facts Over Feelings – While facts are important, communication is about connection, and disregarding emotions alienates others.
✔ Overlook Nuance – Black-and-white thinking leads to oversimplified conclusions, ignoring the complexities of human experiences.
✔ Dismiss Common Ground – Focusing on differences instead of possibilities prevents meaningful dialogue.
✔ Trigger Defensiveness – When people feel attacked, they stop listening. Even if your point is correct, it won’t be received if the other person is closed off.
📍 Key Takeaway: Winning an argument doesn’t mean winning influence. If you harden someone’s heart, they won’t hear your message.
2. The Power of Making a Way
Choosing to make a way means shifting from debate to dialogue, from conflict to connection.
- Instead of highlighting opposition, we illuminate possibilities.
- Instead of focusing on being right, we prioritize doing what’s right.
- Instead of correcting people harshly, we lead with empathy and bring them into understanding.
How? By leveraging three essential elements:
A. Empathy: Understanding Before Correcting
- Great communicators don’t just speak to people; they speak for them, understanding their fears, desires, and concerns.
- Example: Instead of saying, “You’re wrong,” say, “I see where you’re coming from, but here’s another way to look at it.”
B. Consideration: Building Bridges, Not Walls
- People don’t buy into what you say; they buy into who you are.
- If you mistreat or belittle someone, they won’t respect your message.
- Solution: Approach conversations with mutual respect, ensuring that even disagreement is constructive, not combative.
C. Openness: Creating Space for Growth
- Correction must be delivered in a way that invites learning, not resistance.
- Example: If someone is misinformed, instead of saying “That’s wrong,” ask “Have you considered this perspective?”
- This approach encourages self-discovery, making the lesson more impactful.
📍 Key Takeaway: Influence is built through trust, understanding, and openness—not by overpowering others with facts.
3. Why Generating Buy-In Matters
- Correction without connection breeds resistance.
- People are more likely to change their views when they feel heard, valued, and respected.
- Tactic: Before presenting your perspective, acknowledge the other person’s viewpoint to create common ground.
📍 Key Takeaway: The goal is not to defeat others in conversation but to bring them into alignment with truth through connection.
Conclusion: The Communicator’s Choice
In every interaction, we must ask ourselves:
- Am I here to prove a point, or am I here to make a way?
- Do I want to win arguments, or do I want to win people?
The most effective communicators don’t just speak—they connect, build, and lead. When we focus on making a way rather than making a point, we transform conversations from battles into bridges, from resistance into revelation.
🚀 True impact comes not from proving we’re right, but from guiding others toward truth in a way they can embrace.