1. The Core Philosophy: Keep Your Investment Low at First
- The main argument here is that a first date should be low-cost and low-commitment to assess compatibility before making a significant investment.
- Many men rush into expensive dinner dates without knowing whether they even like the woman’s personality or if she will meet their expectations.
- The focus should be on getting to know each other rather than impressing someone with extravagant gestures.
đź’ˇ Key Takeaway: First dates should be about evaluating chemistry, not about proving worth through financial investment.
2. The Risk of Over-Investing Too Soon
- Financial Risk:
- Spending $150–$300 on a date with someone you barely know can be a waste of money if the connection isn’t there.
- If the date doesn’t go well, that money is gone without any return on emotional or relational investment.
- False Impressions:
- If you lead with extravagance, you may attract women who are more interested in what you provide rather than who you are.
- Some women may expect that level of spending to continue, even if you realize you’re not a match.
💡 Key Takeaway: Your first impression shouldn’t be based on how much money you spend—it should be based on connection and compatibility.
3. The Reality Check: She Might Not Even Be What You Expected
- Looks vs. Reality:
- Online profiles and filtered photos can be misleading.
- You might expect someone who looks like an 8 or 9, but in person, she’s a 6.5—meaning your expectations versus reality don’t match.
- Personality Matters More:
- Even if she looks as expected, her personality could be completely off-putting.
- If you’re stuck at an expensive dinner, you have to endure an entire meal just to be polite, even if you realize you’re not interested.
đź’ˇ Key Takeaway: A first date should be a casual setting where you can quickly assess attraction and personality without feeling trapped or over-invested.
4. Drinks Over Dinner: A Smarter First Date Option
- Why drinks work better:
- Lower cost—A couple of drinks costs a fraction of what dinner would.
- Time flexibility—If the date is bad, it’s easier to leave after one drink rather than sit through a full meal.
- Casual setting—Less pressure and more natural conversation.
- If she complains about only going for drinks:
- That may be a red flag that she’s looking for a free meal rather than a genuine connection.
- A woman who is truly interested in getting to know you will value conversation over the venue.
đź’ˇ Key Takeaway: A casual first date allows both people to assess chemistry without unnecessary financial pressure.
5. The Rule: Don’t Spend Big Until She’s Genuinely Invested
- Only invest more once there’s mutual interest and attraction.
- If she’s enthusiastic, engaged, and consistently showing effort, then it makes sense to progress to more involved dates.
- A serious relationship should be built on compatibility, not how much money you’re willing to spend upfront.
💡 Final Takeaway: First dates should be about connection, not financial displays. Keep it casual, assess compatibility, and only invest in someone who genuinely values your presence—not just the perks of dating you.