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Breakdown:

1. The Realization of Living for Parental Approval

• Insight: Many of us reach a point in our lives where we question our motivations and realize we’ve been living to make our parents happy.
• Timing: This realization can come at any stage — in our 20s, 40s, or even later — depending on the influence our family of origin has on our psyche.
• Impact: The realization may be shocking or even depressing, but it arrives when we are ready to embrace our own path.

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2. Why We Strive to Make Our Parents Happy

• Root Cause: A lack of proper nurturing during childhood can leave us feeling like we need external approval to validate our worth.
• Loss of Individuality: If we weren’t honored as unique individuals, we learned to look outside ourselves for direction, rather than trusting our inner voice.
• Hopeful Perspective: The part of us that was neglected is still inside, like a dormant seed waiting for sunlight and moisture to grow.

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3. The Path to Self-Discovery

• Self-Nurturing: It’s never too late to give ourselves the care and recognition we missed.
• Creating a Safe Space: To begin this journey, we can create a safe environment for introspection and growth through various methods:
  • Support Groups: Connecting with others who understand our struggle.
  • Therapy: Seeking professional help to explore our motivations and heal past wounds.
  • Journaling: Reflecting on our thoughts and feelings to gain clarity.

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4. The Challenge and Reward of Self-Realization

• Difficult Work: The process of breaking free from external expectations may be challenging, and we might feel worse before we feel better.
• Ultimate Goal: By committing to this journey, we learn to:
  • Live for ourselves.
  • Pursue what genuinely makes us happy.
  • Follow the call of our own soul, free from the weight of others’ expectations.

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Summary:

Realizing we’ve been living to please our parents is a profound awakening. While the journey to reclaim our independence may be difficult, it is a necessary step toward authentic happiness. By nurturing ourselves, seeking support, and honoring our true desires, we can finally live life on our own terms.