Breakdown:

One of the key ways to build attraction in a relationship is to demonstrate competence and leadership. If a woman invites you into an environment where you’re not skilled—like swing dancing, salsa dancing, or another activity you’re unfamiliar with—you might feel hesitant or insecure. This could affect how she views you because women tend to follow your lead, and repeatedly showing low competency in certain environments can lead to her feeling less attracted.

Here’s how to navigate these situations and ensure you’re presenting the best version of yourself:

1. Competence and Leadership Matter

• Why it matters: Women often look for men who can lead with confidence and skill in various areas. If you continually put yourself in situations where you’re not proficient or able to take charge, it might give the impression that you’re not capable in those environments.
• Lead by example: When you’re in a setting where you excel, you naturally take the lead, which reinforces your competence and masculinity. Women are more likely to feel comfortable and attracted to you when you demonstrate leadership and proficiency.

2. Choose Environments Where You Shine

• Avoiding low-competency situations: If a woman suggests an activity like swing dancing, and you don’t know how to dance, it’s better to avoid those situations or to suggest something where you can lead confidently. By taking her to places where you know you’re skilled, you’re showcasing your best traits and putting yourself in a winning position.
• Run races you can win: The idea here is simple: don’t sign up for activities where you’re likely to struggle or be outperformed by others, especially if it’s an environment where other men might excel. Instead, focus on areas where you have high status or competence.

3. Lead in Your Strengths

• Gym example: A great example is inviting her to join you for something you’re skilled at, like a workout. If you’ve been training for years, bring her into that environment where you can confidently lead her through a workout. Not only does this highlight your competence, but it also puts you in a position to lead the experience in a way that feels natural and engaging.
• High-status activities: If you’re good at something—whether it’s working out, cooking, playing a sport, or anything that reflects your strengths—those are the environments you should bring her into. That way, she sees you at your best, demonstrating qualities like leadership, skill, and confidence.

4. The Pitfalls of Low-Competency Situations

• Why it’s a turn-off: If you’re in a situation where you’re not confident or competent, it can lower your perceived value in her eyes. She might see other men in the same environment excelling while you struggle, which could shift her focus away from you. Repeated exposure to these situations could diminish her attraction.
• Learning vs. leading: While it’s admirable to try new things, the key is to recognize that early stages of dating are about building attraction. Once the relationship is more established, you can explore new experiences together. But in the beginning, it’s important to play to your strengths.

5. Setting the Tone in the Relationship

• Building attraction through leadership: By choosing environments where you’re in control and confident, you’re setting a strong foundation in the relationship. You’re not only leading her physically, but you’re also guiding her through experiences that reflect your competence and masculinity.
• Confidence breeds attraction: When you demonstrate that you’re good at something and can lead her through it, it builds trust and attraction. This is because you’re showing that you have the ability to take care of situations and make decisions with confidence.

Conclusion:

In relationships, demonstrating competence and leadership is essential for building attraction. Rather than putting yourself in situations where you’re unsure or less capable, focus on environments where you excel and can confidently lead. By doing so, you’re reinforcing the qualities that women find attractive—competence, leadership, and masculinity. Remember, always run races you know you can win and bring her into your world where you can shine.