Breakdown:

When you’re in a relationship and break someone’s trust—whether through lying or betrayal—the person on the receiving end goes through a deep emotional process that often resembles grief. It’s not just about the immediate pain caused by the lie or betrayal; it’s about losing the person they thought you were.

1. Grieving the Person They Thought You Were

• When trust is broken in a relationship, the person isn’t just reacting to the lie—they’re grieving the version of you that they believed in. They thought you were one type of person, someone trustworthy, reliable, and honest. But your actions shatter that perception, forcing them to confront a reality that’s different from what they believed.
• This can be disorienting, leading them to question everything about the relationship. They thought they knew who you were, but now they have to reconcile the person they thought they had with the reality of who you are, which creates a deep emotional conflict.

2. The Uncontrollable Grief Process

• You cannot tell someone how to grieve, especially when it comes to losing the version of you they had in their mind. People grieve differently, and in this case, they are grieving the loss of trust and the belief they had in your character.
• Grief isn’t just about death—it’s about loss in many forms, including the loss of the security and trust they felt in the relationship. They might feel like they’ve lost the foundation they relied on, which can take time and patience to process.

3. The Difficulty of True Forgiveness

• Many people want to forgive, but forgiveness is not always a simple process. Even when someone says they forgive you, they might not truly be over the betrayal. Often, they have the best intentions, wanting to forgive and move forward, but deep down, they may still be struggling with what happened.
• They might push themselves to “move on” and hope that by going back to normal, things will eventually fall back into place. But over time, unresolved feelings of hurt and distrust can resurface, and they might realize they can’t fully get over what happened.

4. The Mental Struggle of Trying to Move On

• After forgiveness, many people find themselves still mentally and emotionally grappling with the betrayal. They want to go back to how things were, but the reality of the broken trust lingers. They may go through the motions, hoping that things will “click” again, but if that inner conflict isn’t addressed, it can eventually lead to further emotional distance.

Conclusion:
When trust is broken in a relationship, the person who was hurt isn’t just dealing with the lie or betrayal—they’re grieving the loss of who they thought you were. This grief process is complex, personal, and uncontrollable. Even if they want to forgive and move on, they may still struggle with the emotional weight of that broken trust, and that’s something that takes time and real healing. Forgiveness doesn’t always mean the pain has gone away—it means they’re trying, but sometimes, the hurt runs too deep to simply return to “normal.”